MIA

I’ve been Missing In Action for quite some time. I’ve had so many life events that have caused one day to seemingly roll into the next and before I knew it a week and now months have gone by. It amazes me how time flies, and in a blink of the eye we move from January through December.

I attended the PNP.com Women’s Fitness Retreat a couple of months ago. It was a wonderful experience. I met so many nice people that I never met in person before. We spent three days working out hard, learning to eat right and trying to come to terms with the Fat Girl/Guy thinking that lurks in all of us. Months later I’m still processing some of the things that I learned about myself. I’m sure as the weeks go by I will have a lot of thoughts to share and hopefully ones that cause you to take a look at some of the things that are happening within your own life.

One topic that came up frequently was how various “life things” can get in our way and cause us to be derailed on our weight loss and fitness journey. I ran across a quote and I think it’s very relevant: “Adversity is a fact of life. It can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it”. – Anonymous

It sounds so simple, yet it is so true. We are all going to face adversities of one sort or another in our lives. They will all be of varying degrees and could range from the death of a loved one to the kids driving us nuts. At the moment, each of them will be the most important thing.

During these difficult times, we have options to control our reaction to the issue. A fight with someone doesn’t mean that a banana split will inspire a truce. A binge on chocolate chip cookies will not bring a loved one back, and a McDonald’s Big Mac will not make the bad day at work better.

We all have many choices that we can choose from to get us through adversity. I have several that I use but I would love to get comments on what you use that is non-food related to help you during your difficult times. Maybe if we share our strategies will can arm ourselves for the next event.

Crazy Little Thing Called Guilt

Remember that song "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"? It's kind of cute in that it talks about all the things that love does to a person and what has to be done to control it.

Guilt is the same way. It's amazing how it can affect our thoughts about ourselves and accomplishments. We can be successful 95% of the time and we make one small boo-boo or poor choice and we tend to believe that we have undone the lasts week's worth of effort. We start focusing on all the negative things and forget about the positive, buying into the mental suggestion that we will forever be in a state of un-health and misery.

We can't change the past but we can change the future. We need to let go of the guilty feelings, forgive ourselves and move on. If we continue to focus on the poor choice and let the guilt consume us it is harder to make the next step or to make the correct choice the next time around. Its that fat girl or guy that sits there telling us how we aren't worthy or that we are a failure. We can't listen to that.

One great tip that I have used is to write your feeling on a piece of paper and then burn it or if you are worried about fire, just throw it away. True, its purely symbolic gesture but the idea is to help get rid of the guilt and not hold on to it any longer.

I would encourage you this week as you move through the week whenever you find that you are beating yourself up over something, to write it down, get rid of it and move on.

Even better than that, write it here on the blog page where you can leave it for good. I'll comment back to help you get through it.

Planning + Preparation = Success

Preparation is the second half of Planning. I talk a lot about how we need to have a plan for everything that we know and for some things we don't know. However, the best laid plan cannot come to fruition without effective preparation. Too many times we plan but don't prepare and come home to find that we are either too tired to cook or we don't have the necessary items on hand. This makes it so much easier for us to grab something quick, easy and often unhealthy.

This weekend I took all the food that I eat in a week and laid it out on the table so you can get an idea of what I am talking about. Now, I'm not saying that you need to eat what I have in this picture. What I'm demonstrating is an example of what advanced preparation can look like. I have meals prepared in baggies, pre-portioned and ready to grab and go. That's how I can be successful.

Now, the next thing that you might tell me is "Oh Kathleen, I couldn't possibly do all that, it takes too much time". Well I'm squashing that one because it took me just a little over one hour to cook and bag up everything here, including laying it out and taking pictures. I use my Sunday afternoon to do my grocery shopping and then immediately come home and start preparing. It's worth the couple of hours to shop and prep back to back and it leaves me in a success mode for the week. I've even prepared enough so that I have food to last me through the weekend. I have no excuses to go off plan now, do I?

The other things that I do is brown up some hamburger for others in the house and make a few extra chicken breasts or one casserole that I can throw into the oven or my son can fix on those nights when track practice runs longer than normal or the husband has to work late.

There is nothing like the feeling of control and confidence when I can come home and know exactly what I'm having for dinner and all I need to do is reheat it in the microwave or pop it in the oven and cook it up. Quick, easy and healthy, that's my style.

I'm Not Perfect!

I received more emails from PhitNews subscribers last week than ever before.. Most of it centered around the couple of sentences I wrote, regarding my "rough week". I won't go into the details of what caused it because it doesn't really matter. What makes me fall off the wagon will be different than what makes you fall off the wagon. What does matter, is that we ALL fall off the wagon at one point or another. Don't let anyone tell you they don't, because if they do, what they are probably saying is that they just haven't yet, or they're simply lying to you! Its what we do when we fall that is the measure of our true strength.

Perfectionist thinking gets people nowhere. It's a nice idea to live in fairy tale land where Ding Dongs and Ho-Hos are all calorie free and we can sit on a bench and be fanned by a nice looking "cabana boy" but it probably won't be happening anytime soon.

Perfectionist thinking with regard to our weight loss occurs in different ways. For example, some individuals are afflicted with the all or nothing attitude which convinces them that if they don't lose weight each and every week they are failures. They focus on their imperfections and have a difficult time recognizing the great strides they have made. Another example (this one is my personal favorite) occurs because we get depressed when we don't meet goals that we set for ourselves, even when we suspect that the goals may not have been realistic in the first place.

Here are a few of the things that I have started to do to help myself when I get into one of my slumps.

1. I write about it. I write to you people out there. I trust you. You have become part of my family and I know that you want to see me succeed as much as I do you.

2. I look for the positive in whatever is happening. Most of the time I can find it. If I can't, I jump to the next step.

3. I ask for help. I have one or two close friends whom I trust to give me that swift kick in the pants (so to speak) when I become obstinate. I know that they will be honest with me and I've learned to trust them when they tell me that things are okay, or that they will get better.

4. Make a small goal that I know I can achieve no matter what, even if it is just to eat a healthy breakfast!

5. Enjoy the process. I can't say I'm so great at this one, although I'm getting better. I'm learning so much about things that I never would have considered in the past. I'm also learning more about myself, and that's even better.

"No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers." ~Author Unknown

Say Yes!

I was watching a movie the other night. It is entitled "Yes Man" starring Jim Carrey who plays the main character in the movie. In short, he was leading a dull and unfruitful life when a friend turned him on to a motivational conference. In the conference he becomes convinced that he should just say "Yes" to everything. If he doesn't, bad things, he believes, tend to happen.

Later he meets a young woman who lives carefree in a band that has only five or six fans. She takes a running/photography class because she just likes to do both of those things and in essence just lives life to the fullest, the complete opposite of Jim's character.

The young lady says "The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it."

Is this not the truth? All too often we don't want to get out of our comfort zone, or to try something new for fear of failure, rejection or embarrassment because of what others may think. We don't play in the grass, crawl on our hands and knees, ride bikes or just lie on the ground and watch as clouds go by. I wonder why this is.

One thing that I've learned to do during my weight loss and fitness journey, and I'm still learning, is to live life to the fullest. To try new things, meet new people and get outside of what I would normally do. I've learned so much about whom I am and how much I have to offer to others and how much other people have to offer to me. I was missing out due to my insecurities. But not anymore! I'm convinced that life is a playground and I want to try all the rides, not just the merry-go-round.

Live life and say yes to something that you have always wanted to try but were too afraid to.

Karen’s Success Story

I've been a Weight Watchers leader for a year and a half now, but although recently I've struggled with continuing in this role for several reasons, Karen's story represents the major reason why I keep this job.

Karen has been an active WW member for over 89 weeks folks! EIGHTY NINE! That is one year and almost 8 months. I can't say that I remember her when I started my weight loss journey but she must have been there around the time I reached my goal. I do remember when she reached her 75 lb mark as I weighed her then. I weighed her at her 100 lb mark as well.

When I do my getting started meetings and when I took this meeting over I told everyone that no matter what, if you feel like quitting, please come and talk to me. I truly and genuinely care about you reaching not only your weight loss goal but your YOU goal. I tell them that I understand what it is like to be at a plateau. I was at one for NINE WEEKS, and I never want to forget that feeling. I tell them I have big shoulders and I can deal with the fact that they don't want to track exercise or they are just sick of doing this. But please, come and give me one chance to help them get re-motivated and to stay with the program.

Well, Karen had been struggling for three months to lose three pounds. She had been up 1, down 1.8, up .6, down, 2.6. Back and forth. You know what that's like, we've all been there. Yet, each week she would continue to come and weigh in. Last night she came as usual and I happen to weigh her. She was in a doom and gloom frame of mind and said she just really didn't know how this was going to go. I told her not to worry, let's just see what happens. She stepped on the scale and had lost 4.6 which pushed her into her goal weight of 154.6. Her total weight loss was 158.8 lbs. That's right 158.8 over an 89 week journey. She burst into tears, I cried for her and hugged her tightly and told her how proud I was of her (I'm tearing up right now thinking about it). I told her that it was now the beginning of a whole new her.

It doesn't end here. She proceeded to tell me that she almost didn't come to the meeting that night. She said she was sick of living like this and messing around with three sticking pounds but somewhere in her head she remembered me telling her to "just give ME a chance" and that we would work together to get over that hump. She said after she thought of that, she just had to come to the meeting and talk with me. To make things even better, her granddaughter who usually just drops her off at the meeting, stayed that night and was there to celebrate and witness this life changing event for her grandma. We also figured that during her weight loss journey she lost an AVERAGE of 1.77 lbs each week. What do we say here, "1-2 lbs per week".

We celebrated that night hard in the meeting room, we talked more about what it means to reach goals and persevere. We talked about support, what it is, and why we need it. We talked about never letting a little thing like the number on a scale, a cookie or pie rule how we live our lives or how it can make us feel.

I can't stress to each and everyone of you enough, that you can do this. You can learn to change your life, to live a healthy and fit lifestyle. You are worth it, and if I could hug and cry with each one of you as you reach your goals, I would do so gladly.

In short, this is why I'm a Weight Watchers leader and this one episode has brought more joy and satisfaction to me than anything I've experienced in the last few months.

It’s About Attitude

Many of you know that I just completed my first triathlon. I'm now part of an elite club. Less than 1% of the world's population ever completes a triathlon so no matter what my time or where I placed I'm a pretty special person, if I do say so myself.

I don't want to talk about me today though; I want to talk about a fellow competitor with whom I did the race. Her name is Jill. This was Jill's second triathlon and she was very excited about doing it. She had purchased a new bike, trained, and was ready for the first triathlon of the year. I know she was excited to be competing with our friend Kathy and me. Together they were going to "break me in" to the so called tri-world.

We had a great night picking up our race packets, looking at the huge pool that we would swim in, checking out the transition area and driving the 12.5 miles long bike course to get an idea of what to expect. Let me tell you, there are lots of hills in the Oxford, Ohio area!

We headed out to the race on Saturday morning and somehow we got lost along the way. Whilst trying to find our way, we stopped to ask for directions. At the same time I wanted to check out a strange noise I'd heard coming from the back of the van. We found that Jill's bike had fallen off the bike rack and was being dragged along the road for who knows how long. Her tire was shredded and rim thrashed. We knew at this point, that it was unlikely that her race would take place as planned.

I was sad for Jill, I was also sad for me because I felt I needed her to complete this race. I had no clue what I was doing. I was tempted to just back out.. I mean, it would have been an honorable gesture, right? Probably also cowardly , but you know, Jill wasn't upset at all. In fact, she just said, "you know, it was meant to be, but I'm still going to swim and run". So that is exactly what she did. She did the swim portion, waited for me to finish the bike ride and was at the transition for us to run our three miles together and for us to finish as friends and as a team.

Finding the positive in and learning from a negative experience are important parts of dealing with setbacks. The most important part of a setback is getting up and moving forward. Not letting that negative experience to permanently impede your forward movement.

An old Chinese proverb says: "Fall down seven times, get up eight times.." Its determination and attitude that will get us beyond the difficult walls that block us from our dreams.

My kudos go to Jill this week who didn't let a little bike wreck keep her from having a great time and completing a dream.